Hey, At Least I was Picked By a Perfectionist
An Essay response to the many commenters who ask:
“Why Is Your Husband Doing His Own Drywall Finishing?? Is He Crazy?”
I’ve come to the conclusion that there are 2 types of people. Broad generalization, I know, but hear me out.
There are people like me, who as tweens read Cheaper by the Dozen and instantly were hooked by the idea of the efficiency expert dad. We couldn’t put the book down, and not because of the silly, extravagant tricks played by the bazillion (ok, dozen) kids, but rather because of the enthralling descriptions of how the father had perfected his morning routine of shaving while flossing while showering… tell me more!
This type of person, I’ll call them “E”s for efficiency, spend the rest of his/her 7th grade year running efficiency tests on his/her everyday routine. I personally perfected the art of how few trips I could make from the kitchen when setting/clearing the dining room table.
Now on to the second type of person. Let’s call them the “P”s for perfection. When they were tweens they read… well I have no idea what they read, but I’m sure I got thru the first 5 pages and then was compelled to go figure out (again) exactly how few passes of the lawn mower it took to cut the entire lawn. Anyway, I don’t know what they red, but I’m sure it must have had the same personality-determining effect.
I’m sure that we all know (or are) a P. These are the people that brush their teeth so hard and furiously that when they go to the dentist, they are told to lighten up. Yes, that is right people, the dentist tells them to brush LESS! (Soo happened to my husband.) That has never happened to any E I know. (Over brushing – how inefficient!)
My point of this whole thing is that, sorry to say, but chances are, if you are an E, you are going to marry a P and visa versa. In lots of ways this is very cool. I’m sure P’s never fun out of gas in their cars because they are trying to get the tank extra-empty to calculate the mileage efficiency. And not running out of gas is very handy. P’s also usually make excellent omelets. Sometimes being married to a P is hard, like when you mistakenly offer to go with them to the car wash, only to sit on a sudsy curb for 2 hours while they fully detail the car. But mostly it is great, I swear. I mean, my P had to push my car into the service station twice and that was within 6 months of us meeting. So it is worth the 35 minutes you wait to go out to eat while he perfects the wording on an email to his mom, because a P will do anything for you (too bad it will take 3 times as long as it could).
Wonder what you are? Just go take a look at your toothbrush. If it looks like someone parted a red-stained bristle sea, then I think you’ve got your answer.
p.s. if you are a P, please leave me a comment and let me know what the heck you are doing in the shower that long?? I mean, you weren’t even that dirty!
Hey, At Least I was Picked By a Perfectionist.
8/21/08
I'm totally a P. Sorry for the long shower - I had a few hairs around my knee that the razor just wouldn't catch. I couldn't bear the thought of leaving them to taunt me. I kept going over and over them with the razor this way and that, different positionings of the leg, different angles of bend in my knee until I finally got them. Then I had to thoroughly rinse out the razor so nary a hair was left behind. :\
ReplyDeleteThat essay, actually, was rather beautiful. I too am an E married to a P--you ought to see the paint job he did in the nursery--didn't even use painter's tape. Its magnificent. But he does take longer to get ready than I do:)
ReplyDeletehuh...
ReplyDeleteI'm just not sure.
I seem to have characteristics of both. I don't like doing things that I can't do really well. I'll put it off or evade it like the plague.
Then, on the other hand, I'm great at triage. "Don't have time for that, skip it, and do this since we can fit it in." "That's not as time sensitive as this, so do this and get to that later."
On our windows, I was clearly both P and E.
I wanted all wood, true divided light replacements. I wanted them all to match, too. Vinyl is not perfect to my eye. BUT, some had already been replaced years with low quality vinyl, so they had to be redone. I didn't have the option of keeping all windows and restoring them to have a nice matched set.
Meanwhile, time and money is ticking away, interest is mounting, and deadlines are approaching.
Bang! Yank them all, replace with high quality vinyl. It's fast, it's efficient, it's not what I want, but they all match and it's all done at a price and I can move on.
All windows match = P
Not up to my standard, but done = E
I'm bi, I guess.
I'm sending the wife over to see what she thinks.
There needs to be a third type... I. For inaction. I's strive to be P's, but the quest for perfection is just too daunting to even begin, so nothing gets done. Case in point: The husband is no where near thorough enough when he cleans the bathroom. There is a certain way to clean the bathroom to make it perfect, but it's just so stressful thinking about it, that I can't start cleaning in the first place. It is completely grossing me out, but I can't dedicate enough time to accomplishing the bathroom cleaning, so it doesn't get done.
ReplyDeleteI know, I have issues.
Amy, you've just nailed the dysfunctional aspect of perfectionism.
ReplyDeleteIt's actually hugely common. The trick is to accept that good enough can be good enough.
Further, PARTS of a task can be done perfectly, and that the whole thing doesn't need to be done all at once, perfectly.
A decade and a half ago, when I could just name this aspect of perfectionism, my professional performance dramatically improved.
Ok not only is my husband doing his own drywall finishing (I help, but my reputation as a corner cutter precedes me) he takes the longest showers imaginable. I am always looking for ways to shave seconds off of everything I do. Meanwhile, he's sitting down and writing a list, and sketching a floor plan, and reviewing it and.... ugh I'm exhausted just thinking about it. But boy do I benefit from it.
ReplyDelete