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| Here is the offending pump at my sad closet station in my office. I pump right next to a box of Mini-Moos Dairy Creamers. Hilarious or even more depressing? |
I'd smash it with the biggest sledgehammer I could find. Then, I'd demolish each and every one of the smaller pieces with a regular hammer. Next, I'd gather all the tiny bits and plastic dust up into a pile and set it I'm fire, melting it into a big ugly ball of hurt and guilt and annoyance and anxiety and embarrassment. Then, I'd grab that ball, get a flight to NYC, take a cab to the Empire State building and chuck it over the fence.
Then, and only then, maybe I'd feel a *little* bit better.
(Want to hear more hilarious hatred towards my pump?
Check out my guest blog post: My Glamorous Life as an Architect.)
UPDATE: Because my life could only get my ridiculous, about two hours after writing this, my coworker walked in on me in said closet. FML.
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fun stuff
Hi, I run the 'Worst Possible Place to Pump' group page on flikr. Can we add this photo?
ReplyDeleteSure! But let me send you the one of a big, burly semi-truck driver giving me a big thumbs up while I was pumping & driving too.
ReplyDeleteTen-Four!
Oh I feel for you...After lugging that stupid pump (in style my ass) around for 6 weeks while my son was in the NICU I had a massive breakdown one day and posted it on craigslist. I am so thankful we get 1 year mat leave up here because I could not have handled another minute of using that thing. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteAfter the daughter moved to cereal and solid food, wife's production didn't immediately stop. This lead to what she called "Pump and Dump". Sorry they make you hide like a smoker. Be glad you are indoors.
ReplyDeleteThat, coupled with what you told me earlier has me dying of laughter over here.
ReplyDeleteTwo weeks ago I gave my "at home" pump and my "at work" pump to my pregnant friend. BEST DAY EVER!
ReplyDeleteMy 18 month old still nurses, but is done with bottles. Woot. You're doing great mama!